It’s taken me forever to start this post, and I hope you can grant me the grace of understanding why: I’m transferring. No more Belton, no more UMHB, and no more Cru. Starting this summer, given they let me start some summer classes, I will be a sophomore at the University of North Texas. More Denton, more UNT, and more Mean Green. Caw!
If that’s the only reason you clicked on my link, I hope that appeased your burning curiosity pertaining to my undoubtedly mysterious and intriguing social media post that prompted you to read this. Don’t feel the need to stay for my sappy sayonaras, or be really cool and read some more. A site visit is a site visit in my blog analytics. Anyways, allow me to continue for the real ones here.
A more symbolic, poetic, or “deep” reason that I made up for a "justification" was ultimately this: Growing up, my favorite color was purple. My parents had already had my sister, pink was taken, so I was given purple. My inner child saw going to UMHB as being this destined full circle moment of sticking to my roots. But purple isn’t my favorite color anymore. Now, it’s green, a color that I chose rather than was given. Going to UNT is yet another destined moment of growth, letting go of my roots, and making a choice for myself and no one else.
I’ve been set on leaving B-town starting about midway through my first semester here. The multitudes of “why,” the indefinite query I’ll be asked by the masses, was tearing me under more than anything, and I was fighting for the right explanation of something that just...didn’t feel right. By the time I was heading back for winter break, I’m convinced I could’ve counted the people I would genuinely miss with barely a few digits on my hand. Just the one. I got accepted into UNT, my Denton friends swaddled me with support, and I was ready to say “Go Mean Green” pretty much instantaneously, dreading what I was going to have to drudge through from January to May.
Then, this semester happened. I took a few more risks, strengthened a few more bonds, and realized that a few goodbyes had increased to…a few more. This post isn’t for my multitudes of “why,” but it’s my nothing-but-formal adieu to my first home of higher education, and the people who did this stupid thing called “making me miss them.” Curses to you all, for this blubbering vulnerability of a post is for you.
Robert Hornak, Kathy Owens, Parker Kennedy, and Jacky Dumas, my awe-striking arsenal of educators: I really thought my inherent “teacher’s pet” moniker was going to drop post-high school, but you four quickly became the object of my fervent adoration. I was, am, and will forever be enraptured by your guidance in my wee Padawan upbringing that is one’s first year of college.
Hornak: Thank you for being my first academic cinephile. Keeping in touch with you will be a nurturing gift for my passions, especially the one I hope to pursue as my life’s work. I wrote AN ODE TO MY AMORPHOUS BLOB for his class’s final, to which I didn’t follow the criteria for whatsoever, and he still gave me a 100. What a trooper to endure my word vomit. Thank you.
Owens: My Mother Earth of freshman year enlightenment. Knowing Kathy is knowing a woman of excellent delivery (her dryness, a trait I proudly hold as well, had me at “Okay, we’re recording. Good morning!”), a vessel of compassion, and a voracious advocate for the growth of others, whether it’s her students, her family, or this world. Thanks for holding my words with grace through endless emails and being a symbol of competence and perseverance unlike no other. Can’t believe I have your phone number, a gift in itself really. Thank you.
Parker: My first fully immersive American Sign Language instructor. My skills have been nurtured by his teachings, and his encouragement has inspired me to further pursue my advocacy for Deaf culture. Not to mention, he’s really funny. Though my guidance without him has ceased, his influence is impossible to diminish. Thank you.
Dumas: I kinda hate you. For being my toughest teacher “ta-ta.” I held off telling Dumas I was leaving for another multitude of reasons. One: I was afraid he was going to troll me for the rest of the year and (jokingly) guilt trip me for abandoning this place. Two: I didn’t want him to rescind my Legionnaire-ship. I wanted a Sith name so bad. Three: he roped me into finally admitting how much I love English. Hell, he got me to double major in it, join the English Club, AND become the Vice President of it. Can’t exactly hide how much of a nerd I am now. I’m a complete uncloseted dweeb now, thanks to Dumas. No dryness or sarcasm there. Doom, you’ve furthered my fervor, fed my flame, and whatever alliterated f-words that mean how much you rock and roll. Darth Atra to you, Darth Fatum, thank you.
My English Club peeps: My sweet, sweet geeks. This club was one of my first safe places at UMHB. I never thought I could talk shop about literature with such a loving group of people, and there they were in Davidson 202. Tuesday night Studiscivities (which won Program of the Year, b-t-dub city) were a haven of humanities, and I know y’all are just beginning the revitalization of bookworms here on campus. Thank y’all.
Pi Phi: My home away from home. Thanks for being an open door, a comfy couch, and a giant TV that I could escape to when a change of scenery was desperately needed. Thank you.
Maya & Abby: Thanks for coming up to the girl with short hair with no phone or friends on the first day of Welcome Week. You guys were easily my first people I could go to, and it helps that y’all are the best kind of people the world has to offer, too. Maya: another person getting out of B-Town, except you’re doing it by freaking graduating! I’m so proud of the woman I’ve known you as, and I can only imagine how beautifully you’ll grow into the woman you become. Abby: I’m sorry I’m leaving you with one year to spare, but know that you’re one of few reasons I’ll come back here. Thanks for sinking into the couch with me to dish and being maybe the most hilarious person ever. You’re going to kill your senior year, and I hope the door to Pi Phi is still open to my ugly mug next year. Thank you both.
Brit: You gotta hold down The Fort for us. The hometown heroes gotta keep the Aledo Bearcat legacy chugging. Continue to be a zealous and rejoicing vessel of Jesus's compassion, and may your hands touch all who you serve with your fierce admiration of Him. This season was God’s greatest full-circle moment for us, and it fills my cup to the brim to have walked through this first year of college alongside you. It’s impossible for us to say goodbye, because we simply can’t get rid of each other. Many summer playdates to come! Thank you.
My FYC groups: Thank each and every one of you. For opening your hearts and minds to me, and allowing me to open mine to yours. I never felt as vulnerable and unguarded as I did amongst our fellowship, and your stories and wisdoms rest heavy on my heart as I wish y’all a beautiful continuation of your time here at UMHB. Thank y’all.
Josh & Jackson: Thank you for being incredibly admirable representations of God-fearing men. Your stories and wisdoms are never lost on me either, and both of your characters are beyond gifted in the eyes of the King, as well as lil ole Mo. Thank you both.
Sav: My leader, my mentor, my best friend. Need I keep mentioning that she is graduating at TWENTY years old! NERD! I simply have too many or not enough words for you. Your presence in my life is one of God’s honest works, and I need you to know that you’re number one on my wedding guest list. You’re the easiest person to love, and I pray you never forget that, for the people around you know just how precious you are. I can’t get enough of you, and it breaks my heart that I won’t get nearly as much in these next couple seasons. I always know that you’re right there, though. Thank you.
Kristina & Eclipse: My first college roommates. Co-habitating with someone for the first time has its challenges, kit and kaboodle included. Luckily, our personalities met so well, and I love cats. Thank you for being my first friend here, and still being scared of your own shadow. You can guess which sentiment is for who. Thank you both.
Alex & Teddy: My lifelines. My go-to’s. My B-Town besties. Thanks to FYC for helping me acknowledge the existence of these guardian angels, and thank God for giving me the guts to ask them to hang out sometime.
Alex: My rara avis. You’re going to be just fine. Thanks for starting every conversation with my name, in the form of Mo, Moseph, or anything else that your creative cranium conjures. Thanks for all the ‘Bucks runs, jam seshes, and existential chats about what the hell is wrong with us. You’re my world, and I better see your face in Denton real soon.
Theoden: My singular male influence on this catty campus. Thanks for being the coolest dude ever, letting me ramble about nothing, and showing me unforgettable art I’ll carry with me for a long time, hoping I did a sliver of the same. You’re a gentleman of high accord in my book, if that means absolutely anything. You better truck up from B to D-Town in Navi real soon, too. King Geedorah awaits.
I’ll be back for y’all. Thank you both.
To the fleeting acquaintances I never learned the last names of: Peers, chance encounters, or passing glances. You hold a thanking as much deserved as the rest of these bozos. Though our relationships barely breached any noticeable surface, I can assure you certain conversations did. For that, I thank…whoever you were, and whoever you become.
There are special people wherever you are. Choose not to believe it, and you’ll only be counting a few digits at the end of the day. The importance of people is one that is repeatedly called back to me in life, and a vital importance it shall remain. Evelyn Wang, the titular character of one of my favorite films, Everything Everywhere All At Once (oh my god, she really managed to still make a film reference in her goodbye post, good Lord!), says amidst world-altering conflict, “We’re useless alone. It’s a good thing you’re not alone.” What may seem world-altering to you can’t be held under you as one person, but with the power of multiple.
There will always be people there. Literally, because you can’t ignore them and they’re EVERYWHERE. But what I want to get across is that there will always be YOUR people. There are people just waiting for you to come into their life and rock their world. How exciting! What a sweet little treat!
Well, I hope I’ve made my point. People are cool and people are needed. This departure is purely furthering my journey of finding more of them, and I, for one, can’t wait to get started.
Cheers, Go Cru, and Go Mean Green,
Mo.
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